“See me, feel me, touch me, heal me!” from The Who’s Musical “Tommy”

(A reflection from my first weekend program at One Spirit Seminary, Sept. 2007)

“Look deep into the eyes of one of your classmates, see beyond the façade or judgments. Look deep within the soul of the other.” You state, “I want to be seen.” The response from the other, “I see you.” This small exercise brought tears to my eyes. After it was completed, I shared with the group how surprisingly moving it was to do this. It spoke to the deepest desire of my heart and I believe the hearts of all – is to be truly seen, felt, touched, and known. As I spoke, brought to mind was the Broadway Musical, “Tommy”, where Tommy sings the words, “See me, feel me, touch me, heal me!” Those words have always held deep significance for me and I have used them in a variety of programs and writings I have done in the past.

The next day, Sunday morning, my son, Ryan, who lives in NYC, called to say he would meet me on the corner of 17th and 8th – to walk me to school for my second day at the Seminary. After picking up some freshly made banana bread and a bottle of cranberry juice, I began my minor trek down 17th street. Looking ahead, I saw what looked like a person in a wheelchair on my side of the street. As I came up closer, I noticed that there was no movement. I began to wonder if it was possible that whoever this person was might have died, with no one bothering to do anything. Even as a bit a fear emerged, I knew I could not just walk by. I needed to see if there was something I might do. I walked up to the side of the immobile chair and body which was sitting in the middle of the NYC sidewalk that Sunday morning. I saw what looked to be a very weathered, old man in a blue plaid shirt, his lifeless arms loosing hanging down the sides of his confinement. His gray head slouched over his lap as low as his neck would allow. The tube from his urine bag was visible from beneath his wrinkled dark brown pants.

Hoping to not get swatted, if death had not taken him, I gently touched his arm and asked, “Sir, are you OK?” His limp neck quickly snapped into an upright position. Without a lost heartbeat our eyes deeply connected and we were both dancing with the response to “I want to be seen,” and “I see you.” His eyes were bright blue pools of humanity that took me deep within his soul, as I felt he was taken into mine. His face was illumined with light – not at all wrinkled and old as I had thought. He looked as though he could have come from the same seed as one of my children, though about 15 years older. For a moment we joined souls, a knowing that went beyond features, fears, or facts. Time did stand still as we connected to something much more profound, more real. He responded, “I’m hanging in there.”



I asked if there was anything I could do. He said, “No, but thanks.” I thought that he could really do much better than I with my fresh banana bread and cranberry juice. I offered him this breaking of bread, this communion. As I left he said, sweetly and with gratefulness, “Thank you and God bless you.” The lock of the gaze continued. I felt like I wanted to do more – but just said, “Be well.” I gently touched him again and trekked on to meet Ryan at 8th. Ten steps away, I realized that the cash I had in my purse was easily replaceable, so I turned on my heel and returned to this man with whom I had engaged with in Spirit. Quietly, I slipped some bills into his hand. Again he responded with “God Bless you.” Tears began to well in my eyes – it was such a deep moment of LOVE experienced in this most unplanned Sunday morning service. And before I turned again to meet my next commitment, I touched his arm and said, “My name is Diana, what’s yours?” He looked up at me, and said, “My name is Tommy.” At that moment, I couldn’t take in a breath. I was stunned. “Tommy!” There was no reason to tell him of this “coincidence.” I sent him love, walked away – took a breath and cried until I reached my son on 8th Ave.

“See me, feel me, hear me, touch me, heal me.” What is my God? What is the Divine? I don’t know. I don’t know what is real and unreal. We live in a world of paradox. However, in that moment, two quite disparate beings crossed paths. My “Yes” to all that is possible, connected with his “Yes” of that that is real. I would like to believe that we changed the world in that moment of seeing, touching, feeling, hearing. I want to believe, to hope that moments, as these, can lead to Healing – of me, of Tommy, of those who came before and those who come after.
This extraordinary experience beckons our presence, our willingness to look at our own sins (missing the mark) and calls us to give great compassion as freely as possible.
Could this be the little voice of the divine? Could this be that God Presence? The Atman? Brahman?